Year 23!

So today I turn 23. Crazy to think that time as gone by so quickly. To celebrate my birthday I have decided to take the day off and decided to relax at home. And to my excitement I got my diploma in the mail. When people had asked me what I wanted to my bday I didn't know what to say. But this is something I wasn't expecting. After almost 5 years in SF I finally have my diploma. It took long enough and now reality is really hitting that Iam done. It is time to start the real world by using my degree. Now it is time to get that job, but alas I still haven't heard back from any place yet, but I'm not going to let that stop me from trying. Any ways I still have to get some more writing done. I did send out my treatment to my friend to edit it and she did say that she really liked it. Here is hoping that it is really good. Though I do need to make it longer since it is a bit short, but better short then too long. Any whoo Im off like a bunch of herd of turtles.

The Search

So I have been putting off finishing writing my treatment to have it sent to a friend to edit it for me. I think Im doing it so that I don't have to realy analyze it much. The main character is very much a part of me and it is a kind of therapy for me to write it. Its more of a confrontation of my insecurities, then anything else. And I think it will make the script that much more powerful, but at the same time it will make it harder for me to have people criticize it. What doesn't hurt me with only make me stronger. I also need to put all the novels I have been wanting to read away. Finished a Laurel K Hamilton and a Kelley Armstrong, and as long as I don't go to the bookstore and buy the next ones in the searies then I think I might be able to get some work done.

Now as for my job hunt...Well Iam really frustrated. I have not heard back from anyone yet. But I haven't sent out that many resumes yet. I'm starting to debate on sending out some for internships, but with those being unpaid makes it hard. So Im trying to decide if I should try to take out a loan and try to survive off of take while working to get experience that will lead to a higher paying job. Or at least that is the goal. Don't quite know if that will actually happen, so I have to try to decide and soon. Trying not to stress about it. This is what I want to do and well by gone it. I will.

What now?

So, it has been a month since my last posting and so much has happened. Went to my gradfathers funeral and was able to see all my cousins and there families, which I haven't been able to do in years. Then a short week later it was time to go to the Sundance Film Festival. I can not even get all to words out to explain the wonder it was to volunteer there. But I will try anyways.

Before I got there I was having a hard time with my creativity. I had hit this wall. I knew what I wanted to do, but wasn't able to get it out. But while at Sundance there was all this insparation around me. Going to some of the panels as well as the New Frontier exhibit made it so that I was jittery with creativity, but alas no where to put it. There was the hitRECord.org people, whom Iam hoping to be able to work with some later, who had computers to help do editing. But alas, my timing Really sucked. There was always someone else on it busy editing or they were recording. But everyone who I talked that worked with hitRECord, all had this passion for film and making it a colaborative thing, that you couldn't help but want to be around them. Dan and Lula, I doubt you will ever read this, but it was a pleasure to talk to you guys and I hope to talk to you guys again. Down to earth people who are passionate and genereally great people are always a pleasure to be around, and you guys made hitRECord and fun place to come by and see. It was as if I had lost apart of myself and I was finally able to find it again.

And let me just say how refreshing that was. I do have an idea to make my first feature film to be working with the production company. It would be great to be able to my little script about me and my roommates in to a reality, with the help of people all around the world. Alas it is another dream that I will have to work hard to make in to a reality, but it is something that is 100% possible. It will just take time.

Any ways I was able to see only about 6 films at sundance, which they were all amazing, but next year I will be staying closer and determined to see more. As well as see more panels.

So whats next in my life now? Well that is a good question. Iam back working in accounting again, only took a month off with everything happening. But Iam starting to send out my resume around in search to find a job in the industry, while I try to keep up my writing. I have decided to keep this blog going and keep an update with my script and search for that open door in to the industry. I know it will be hard road, but as someone told me at Sundance, "If you see yourself doing something else for a living, you need to be doing that. Don't go in to the film industry if you can see yourself somewhere else. It is too hard of a road to do so otherwise." Well that is true and I did sit there for a minute to see if I could see myself doing something else. And the only thing that came up to my mind is NOTHING. I want to do this no matter how hard it might be. I know I wont be rich, but I will be doing what I love and that is enough for me. Well off to try to be productive. LOVES and HUGs. Never fear your dreams, persue them, never run away.

The End of a Chapter and the Beginning of Another

It is official Iam done with school. There is no more worrying about having to take any exams or write papers that really have no use. Now there is the world open before me and it is up to me where to go and what to do. I have come the the end of the path that has been laid in front of me by my parents that I have been able to move only a little on. Now that I have finished it there is endless opportunities now. I know so far everything that I have said sounds cheesy, and it is but it still hasn't hit me yet that I now have a college degree. So, now what? That is the question.

With the coming of the new started with joy, that went to worry and is now gone to grief. Tyleah has gone in to the hospital with another flair up and I didn't find out untill day two in the hospital. Not so fun. But she is done and out now, but is still some problems yet that is to be expected. Now as for the grief part my grandfather passed away. It is sad that he is gone, but after having dealt with Alzheimer's and having his health deteriorate, it was his time to go. With him being so out of it for so long, Iam happy that he is no longer in pain. He is now in a place that isn't like being in a prison of his own body and is able to remember that basic daily bodily movements. It has hard for him to go like this but Iam hoping that it wont affect my grandmothers health any more. With her focusing on his health for so long her health has started to faultier. So hopefully she will be able to take better care of herself. It will be hard losing the person that she has been with for so long.

I didn't really know what else to do today even though I was at work, so I have now planned out most of my sisters flights and info. Its going tobe interesting to see everyone together. Even with Tiana not talking to my Mom, it should be interesting to see how it all goes. Just hoping that it wont be too stressful. Instead of only staying for the weekend Iam just going to stay for the extra week to help out where I can, while hoping that I will be able to get my writing done before sundance. While it will suck not having any money being made this month, it will be worth going to Sundance and hope to be able to help out with the family. There are times that I think that they really dont think I care about them, but that is not the matter at all. I just have found that my family doesn't say how much they care or appreciate each other as we should.

It is sad that in one person's death that everyone else realizes what they missing in life. It is in the loss that people decide to change there life or see what they want to change or do different, but they either do it or will always think about doing it and never go through with it. I hope to be the one that sees what they want to do and then do it. While there are still things that I fear of doing, I hope to be able to face my fears and only come out the end stronger.

Here is to a lost loved one and to take the opportunity of being a new graduate and see where life takes me. There is no stopping me in what I can and can't do. Meet the next major Producer, Writer, and hopefully director. Yup that is me Iam talking about. And there is nothing that can stop me.

The Count Down Begins For Reals!

The real count down for my last day has now begain. Last Class is on the 17th of this month and I can't be any more ready for it to be done. As excited as Iam for the real world, Im still scared shitless. There will be no more excusses that can be blamed on anyone else for. Its not up to me to make my career happen. No one else but me. Really scary when you think about it. But Im ready for a change and know that I can do what I have dreamed about doing since high school.

I got the volunteer position at the Sundance Film festival and am ready to work long hours and see as many movies as I can. The people that I have talked to all say that whenever they go it is always a great experience. Im glade that I will have a friend that will be there with me to experience it. Plus it will give us a chance to catch up since it has been so long since we have really seen each other. Not to mention that she is doing what I would like to do and will be nice to get some advice from someone who is going through the same things as Iam.

Even though it is still over a month till the festival there is still so much that I want to do before then, including finishing school. Since I am going to be networking alot there it would be nice to have a few treatments to take with me so that if asked I have something to talk about. I think through this I will be able to get enough contacts that it will help me point me in the right direction in finding a job in LA or whereever else this career will take me. With all of the possiblities out there it is overwhelming at times since I want to do it all. Just have to take things one at a time.

First thing first. Finish a first draft of my script so that I can make it better and hope to get it sold or maybe the attention of someone who would be willing to represent me. I may have big dreams, but I do know the reality of the world that is out there and will not let that pull me down. There will be no success overnight, but as long as I can pay my bills doing what I love is all the success that I need.

Any ways, I better get back to work and I will have to post more often as school comes to an end and the real adventures begin. Watch out world cause Im ready for you.

Next Idea...

So I have decided what idea that Im going to be developing more for the next screenplay. As of right now its only an idea, but Im hoping to have a treatment to take with me in January to the Sundance Film Festival. Its going to be fun since Im going to be involving my two roommates in to the writing process more then I have before, since I am going to be basing the three main characters after the three of us. Its going to be a romantic comedy, which should be fun to write, since it will be my first time writing something that doesn't have any typer of supernatural aspect in to it. So what is the story idea you ask? Well it is three friends who all own a bookstore and are trying to get one of the group out of her lonely little world of the shop. It is there goal to find her Mr. Right without her knowing, since she will automatically pull away from everyone and hide her real feelings again.

I know its a story that has been done many times before, but Im going to be doing it a little bit differently. How? I don't know yet, but I think that it is a good idea so far and is defiantly in the beginning stages. Still haven't decided on the names of the three girlfriends yet.

But first things first getting my other script farther along then it already is. Oh I wish I had more time in the day to work on all of it. Not to mention that my attention span hasn't be all that great. I mean when its good its really good, but lately it really has been really shitty. I mean I can read a book I like for three hours straight, but homework or getting some other stuff done, not so much. Oh well back to the Salt Mine. lol.

Midterms got pushed back so now that means I really have no excuse to not do well on them. Study time. Ok Ok not going to study, more like try to get some more writing done.

Days go by.....

So my first super stressful week has now gone by. Paper written on time, film treatment written on time, paper proposal turned in, and then the evil DVD project that has been haunting me for the past year was thought to be done. So what is this evil DVD project you ask? Well let me tell you about it. I have been working for my sisters boyfriend to edit a project for him. Mostly its just me typing in text titles, but the Spanish version has been a pain in the butt. First off I do not read or speak Spanish. I mean I can guess some of the basics and say a few words, but that is pretty much it. So there were some typos that I was going back to fix. Easy fix right? Not! It seems that everything that can go wrong has gone wrong on this project. At some point the bouncing between different computers the text and the video combined in to one master clip so I had to go through the whole thing and retype it. Fine so just a little more work. Well thinking that I have it all fixed I burn it and give him the final copy days before he is leaving the country to show the video. Fine and dandy now right? NOPE! Their are more typos and he watched it the day before he left. I have no clue what to do since I don't have the program on my computer and have to use the schools, which limits my time and what I can do. So it totally blows, he seems fine with it and just was going to talk through the text instead of having people read it. Fine with me I really am not happy with the quality of the video anyways and really never want to see it again. HA right never going to see it again. After getting an angry call from my sister saying how bad my work is I have to get him the hard copy of all the basics and are going to her friend who has the program on his computer. Fine by me, I really wish the went to him the first place since as they said to me "he gets paid to do this type of work.". Let me just say it is one thing knowing that the quality of something isn't great, but when someone that is family says everything that you are saying just doesn't make you feel any better about it.

Any ways tried to get it on an external drive and of course the first one we bought was only PC compatible, well we need both PC and MAC. Great back to the store to get another. Well lets just put it this way, we are both at the point of annoyance that we aren't paying 100% attention and end up having to go back three time and still get it Wong. Now we both are wanting to hurt something. It took me a while to just convince him to take my external harddrive and leave. Haven't heard back from him about how it went, but Im really hoping to never hear about this project again.

Oh what a student would do for family and the potential recommendation. Now I don't want his recommendation, and even if I did dont think I would get it. Never fun to have something done that doesnt have my best in to it. Oh well thats life, you gotta f**ck up sometimes and so shitty work to learn from it. Now I know never to do a project for free while in school and for a family friend. It just doesn't work out in the end, especially when they don't seem to be on the same page as you or listen to what you are saying.

Any ways its back to school getting ready for midterms in my Eastern European Art Film and Black List classes. Not to mention the ever workings of the writing process for my screenplay. It seems that all we do is extra writing preps and will never actually get to the writing of it. In due time it will all come about.

Just have to keep my head up and my eye at the light at the end of the tunnel. Plus the count down of going to Sundance as a college grad. Can't wait for January to come.