Sexism Lives on in Todays World

Misogyny is something that all women battle with in their life. Even in todays world after we've come so far for equality. It still happens. And it's disheartening when it does, cause people let it slide by accepting it in silence. Breaking the silence on experiences that women go through isn't us complaining about this one time, but a way to educate people and the person that this is not okay to treat others beneath you. It's when you are silent that you are saying that it is okay for others to treat you like crap. That you accept the other persons judgement that you aren't good enough.

Cause it's not true. Just because you have a certain type of sex organs in your pants means that you can't excel in something that other sex is supposed to excel in.

I'm not just talking about women's rights her. I'm also talking about men who happen to excel in things that are deemed for women only. For right now let's just talk about writing and the publishing world.

For the last week or so a topic of 'lady writers' and 'lady editors' in the Science Fiction and Fantasy world has taken center view of equality. This is a topic that seems to take center stage every few years and now that it's 2013 the 'lady writers, the 'lady editors', and 'lady fans' of SFF are fighting back. Like every genre there has been a growing of subgenres underneath the larger umbrella. And with that people are breaking the traditional ways of how things are done while still staying true to the genre.

What what exactly are people bitching about? Well apparently some of the old school names in the SFF world as well as others believe that the traditional formula that is worked for them for decades for most don't like when things change. That means,  no sexist covers of scantally clad women in a chainmale bikini, with a manly man narrator with no sex, and the man saves the day, all in 3rd person narration.

Guess what not everyone wants to read that in SFF. So when Urban Fantasy as well as other SFF genres/subgenres started to be "invaded by ladies" who should have Barbie as a rolemodel (yes that was said by a SFF male author, cause every woman should just sit there look pretty, cook for the man, and not say a single word), it was unbelieveable that 'lady writers' could write just as well as these other men. And gasp in a different point of view. And gasp and their is sex. And gasp the woman saves the day.

One thing as a writer myself I've learned that you shouldn't write to someone else. Write what you want to read. Write what feels natural for you. And for those 'lady writers' they did that in the genre they loved. They just happened to do so in an urban setting (or even the traditional setting of SFF that apparently you shouldn't deviate from), in first person present tense from the female leads point of view, and holy hell there is sex (sex that the women actually enjoys), and believe it or not she saves the day.

My mind is just blown out of the water. Who knew that writers of the opposite sex can write in a genre just as well as others who have dominated that genre for years by doing so in their own way. They didn't stick to the cookie cutter version or try to imitate someone else. Which in reality never really turns out to be nearly as good then if you take the rains of your own imagination.

This doesn't just go with the SFF genre. This goes for all genres. Each one has a tendency to lean to one sex dominating over the other. If you really think about it most people tend to lean to reading something written by the same sex as they are no matter what genre it is. Maybe it's the tone that they write in, but I will admit that I tend to lean to this as well. I realize this and have been trying to break the subconscious decision to only read female writers. Don't get me wrong, I do have some favorite male authors. They just don't happen to be in my top 3. Why is that? Not sure.

Anyways back to the subject. Men don't dominate every genre. Women also have ours that we I'm sure we look upon the same way that some men do in the SFF, Horror, Mystery, etc, genres. Romance, Young Adult, and more are genres that women dominate. So don't judge a book by it's cover. Or I should say don't judge a book by the authors sex organs. They don't control how someone writes. If it does, well, then that's just a little awkward.

No matter what you write or edit, it doesn't mater what sex you are. They don't put gentlemen writer or lady writer before your name in an article or novel. Shit, if they start putting a giant stamp over the cover saying, 'Warning this book is written by this sex you've been warned" then we as a society have gone back in to a time that makes me more sad that these events already are.

Ironically many authors have taken pen names so that people wouldn't judge their work based on the authors sex. Case in point a name that everyone knows...J.K Rowlings. She didn't want people to not read about Harry Potter because she is a woman. By using her initials it put her gender a side for people to choose to read her work based on the summary of the book, nothing else.

Sadly this still happens in more than just the writing world. It happens in all work places people just don't talk about it. Which in case lets it be okay that people are being mistreated because of their gender. Even if that person is more than qualified in what they are doing, having proved themselves over time, they are still judged on not being as good as the gender that has dominated the field.

Stand tall in what you do. Be proud of the work that you have done, And FUCK EVERYONE ELSE who judges you. Hold your head up high and know that more times than not the reason people hare are because they are jealous. Because they don't have the strength, the knowledge, the creativity or the courage to do what you are doing. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. YOU ARE! Don't let the knowledge that there will be trials stop you. Guess what life is hard. Plow through those barriers and don't look backing thinking I should've, could've, would've.

I've personally have gone through struggles of judgement by the opposite sex when playing rugby in college. It was a new team and so the few girls that wanted to play joined the boys team. No we couldn't play games as a mixed team, but we learned to be stronger plays with the boys. Not all the guys were judgmental about us girls out there. There were only a few that took it too far and they were later booted from the team, but after we had to scream at the male captains to open their eyes at practice. When they did, they were horrified at what was happening.

That quickly changed. But there were still girls who came to practice to play with the boys. They didn't last long after they realized that they would have to get dirty and actually be tackled. For the boys that did overly respect and think that us girls were breakable but still wanted us to play had to educate them that we do, A:  know how to take a hit on pitch, and B: know the difference between an intentional grope and not. It's a full contact sport. Touching each other is a requirement, but trust me when I say that we can tell the difference.

Stand up for your right in what you do. And do it with pride without hesitation that you shouldn't be doing it.

I am a woman. I write contemporary romance. I write paranormal. I write suspense. I am pursuing a career as a hybrid author, self-publishing and traditional. And my books all have sex in it. I am not ashamed of that. I know I can make my dreams into a reality. Letting the roadblocks of life and the industry a motivation to break through them instead of making me turn around running for the hills.