I was wondering what to post about today since yesterday I had spent my morning at the car dealership getting my car worked on followed by a long skype session with the bestie who lives out of state. Ending the day with an epic headache (must make sure to eat food through the day, very important) I hadn't gotten to writing anything. So, here I am sitting in my usual coffee shop on the weekend with my manuscript ready to send out tomorrow to my editor wondering what to blog about. This past week a lot of people have posted some very personal blog that I think everyone can relate to -- battling depression, body issues, pushing off taking care of yourself in battling of reaching your dream, and also what self publishers are making. All very different yet all very personal.
Which got me thinking, should I talk about my own battles of the black hole that is depression, or my struggles of doubt, of body issues, of insecurity? I've pretty much have been honest on here about all of those this, cause of one reason, I have to talk about my demons to let them know that I know they are there. That I am their food. That I am also the one that can destroy them. (Thanks Laurell K Hamilton for that comparison. Wish I could take credit for it, but I'm not. It was totally that wonderful author).
Then I got to thinking I hear all these other authors talking about how they pretty much have always known that they wanted to a writer, in one form or another, but what about me? Did I always know that I wanted to write?
I remember wanting to be a lot of things growing up, but never once did I stick to one thing for most of my childhood. Though one thing is certain, I've always loved books. No matter how hard it was to read at times (thanks dyslexia), I still loved books. There is a great photo of me on a long roadtrip in our family van with me passed out with a book open on my chest with my pink chucks with tweety bird on them that the bottom read 'thats all folks". I've also had my Grandmother talk to my sister to about my reading Harry Potter for long hours to make sure that I knew the difference of reality and not. That wizards didn't exist and to her they were evil bad things. Gotta love the traditional Grandmother. But the fact was this I loved books. I was a horrible speller (still am), have dyslexia (Still struggle with it) and am easily distracted (oooo shiny object). But here's the thing I love a good story, period.
I've gone through the phases of wanting to be a vet cause I love animals, but can't stand seeing them hurt. I've gone to film school cause I loved the visuals of movies and that they can transport you to a different world (oh just like a good book). I've wanted to travel the world (Still do). I've wanted to be pretty much everything, but the gist of this I've always known I wanted to be apart of the creative world in one way or another. Let it be the logistic side of things or something else, I've always wanted to be a part of it.
I just never thought that I'd be the one doing all the creative writing developing aspect of things. The doubts of struggling with learning disabilities (dyslexia and all that goes with it) made me believe that I couldn't be good enough to be apart of that creativity. I know better now.
It wasn't until I was in college that a spoken word poet told me that I should write something during summer break that I was bored out of my mind for that I truly took up a pen. Though I will admit that it took me a while to realize that he didn't mean poetry. Thus that summer began my exploration of writing down an idea for what has over the years developed into my paranormal romance. Originally I thought it to be a book (or something of), turned into a screenplay (yup I learned quickly that I'm not good at writing those) and went back to turning it into a novel. Did I know that I wanted to publish it? Nope. I had no plans what so ever other than to do something creative with my time.
By the time I was finished with University I had almost finished a book, starting another, and with more notes of future work I still am not sure that I will get to them all. Like the rest of the college grads I struggled to find work. All in that time writing kept me sane. It kept my head above water as the black hole of depression was working over time to suck me in.
It was then that I realized this....I am a writer. I want to keep writing no matter where I end up in life I want to keep creating stories. And as more time went by with research and figuring out what goes into publishing I figured things out. That I will be a published author. That I want to have my work be in the hands of other, no matter how insecure I've been and will be of my work, I want others to enjoy it.
Since that moment say five years ago I knew. I knew then that I was going to be a writer. It was last year that I knew that I was going to be in the logistical side as well. I am going to be a business owner as well as writer.
Did I know that I was destined to write? No. Maybe in my subconscious I knew on some level. But it wasn't until adulthood or the beginning of where I began the search of who am I that found that I was destined to be a story teller.
There you go, my origin story into realizing that I was going to be a writer. It might have taken time to realize it, but I don't regret the journey I took to get here. And I hope that I can create stories that helped me escape reality when times were hard and end with a smile on my face.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Questioning yourself...
Last weekend was the first time I'd attended the local RWA (Romance Writers of America) meeting. This is where once a month members of the RWA gather for a class and meeting. I've attended the National Conference they have once a year before but I've always chickened out attended a local meeting. Why is it that I'm fine attending large conferences but the small meetings freak me out?
Well let me tell you...I start questioning everything! I question will I fit in? Will they know that I'm the fraud want to be author that will never make it? Will they judge me that I'm pursuing self publishing? They will see all my insecurities and KNOW EVERYTHING! Then I talk myself into stop being stupid with all these insecurities. Everyone I've ever met at a conference has always been sweet. I've never not felt welcome in a group of writers. Quite the opposite actually, but still these doubts and insecurities sneak in making me quite going to the meetings before I even go.
It's this over thinking, over analyzing things that I have no control over that makes me quit before I even start. The funny thing is this last weekend before the meeting started I forced myself into not thinking. Do one thing at a time, pay for attendance a head of time, get dressed, get in the car, drive to Berkeley, find the place, double check I'm in the right location, walk in, find a seat and sit my butt down.
And guess what! I did it! I went to my first local RWA and I regret NOTHING! They had a class on social media/marketing before and after publishing your book and it was a great class. I learned a lot and also confirmed that I'm starting with a good foundation of starting my career off. I'm not afraid to make the time to do social media before I'm even published, I'm not scared to do the marketing/branding on my own. All of which is a part of the business that not a lot of writers like doing.
I'll admit to a funny story that happened while I first got to the meeting. I was so nervous I immediately asked where the restroom was and when I came back to find a seat in the front row of the small room (everyone had gotten a seat before me) and realized I left my cell phone in the bathroom stall. When I realized this a few seconds after I sat down I wanted to fall forward on the table and thump my head on it in stupidity. Not wanting to forever lose my phone in a brewery bathroom I found a moment where people weren't talking too much and practically ran out of the room down the stairs to the bathroom. Yup my phone was still there. But I felt like a complete doofus for leaving it and literally turning around the second I sit down in the front row. Hands shaking that everyone will remember the girl with purple hair that practically ran out of the room I pulled out my notepad and forced myself to relax.
The rest of the meeting went without any issues and I'm glad I stayed. I talked to one person and glad I did. Next time I go I will make sure to talk more and maybe even stay for lunch to interact more with local writers. While I love my writer friends across the country it would be nice to have someone local that understands the writer me.
So, here's the moral of the story....don't over think. Follow your gut and stop questioning it. As you can see from my over thinking I've put myself back months on meeting with local writers that I could become friends with. I've done this in the past with some of my writing. All of which I now smack myself over the head for.
My gut has been right more times than not, and it's the questioning the over thinking that ends up putting me back in a place that was father back in my writing or my career than I should be. It's only been in this last year or so that I've come to really understand the over thinking. When I catch myself doing it I literally give myself a pep talk to stop. To really look at why I'm doing it. In the end it's looking for an excuse. Don't do that.
So I won't over think going to RWA meetings or hopefully much else in my writing career. Oh I know that it will happen again and again, but I wont let it consume me. To stop me from achieving my goals. That being said I'm off to do some writing. I'm getting closer and closer to finishing the first draft of a new manuscript and can't wait to get it done before I get edits back from editors.
That will be a new challenge in its self in not overthinking or analyzing. A challenge that I'm excited to take on and share the rest of my journey with you all.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Importance of Accounting
As most of you know I've fallen into accounting as a day job since I was in college. While I studied film accounting help pay my bills and put me through school, keeping me out of the dreaded retail that so many people fall into during school. While the day job held me back from pursuing internships I will never regret taking that first job in accounting and the job that currently hold now.
Why you ask?
Well let me tell you. This is one job that no matter where I am in life I can apply what I've learned into my personal life. While I've been in accounts payable (I'm the person that pays all the bills and makes sure that they are on time and that we are paying what we are supposed to be paying and when. Specifically with contracted companies as well as overhead costs. That's the cost of doing business). Well now that I'm diving in to the self publishing world I'm realizing more and more just how valuable this knowledge is if I actually apply it my everyday life and now personal business.
So instead of writing first thing this morning I find myself doing something I never thought I would be doing on my day off from the day job. I'm making a spreadsheet. I know it's terrifying, but not only will it help when it comes to doing my taxes, but it is going to help me figure out my budget for the next year as I dive head first into self publishing.
If you don't think publishing is expensive then you need to wake up and smell the coffee cause it can be. Don't get me wrong you can get a good book out on a tight budget but you have to know the right people, do it yourself, or talk prices down. Not only are you looking at production costs, but you also have to take into consideration marketing and travel. Personally I'm planning on going to conferences not only to as a marketing tactic but as a way to help hone my craft. If you're not careful those cost can and will add up too fast that you don't know what hit you and you can't pay your bills.
Well I'm a stubborn bastard and until I find critique partners that I trust then I'm willing to spend the extra money on good editing, cause in the end there are two things in my personal opinion that will help or kill your sales. That is your cover art and the actual writing. Promotional items I can make on my own. Other marketing strategies I can do on a very limited budge. I'm a creative person after all, so I can come up with something for cheap that will stand out.
But you can't fake a good cover or good editing skills. So, I'm sitting down making a spreadsheet to help not only visualize what I've spent in the last year on conventions (all you can write off on your taxes FYI) but what are the estimated costs of each book I've got with editors and the possibility of how I can spread out the cost/save to make sure that I'm not breaking my own bank account.
So if you are going to a business make sure that you take into account the accounting that goes with it. As painful as it might be making those spreadsheets it will help put the whole picture into perspective. Not only will it help you budget for future books but it will help you make a game plan as to when you can realistically publish a book and make sure that you have the funding for all the costs that go with it.
That being said I wish that I had done this long ago. And personally plan on keeping track of all costs as well as what each book makes each month after I publish. This is what every business does. And while I may be a writer, this is something that will help my push my writing business in a direction that I'm not sure everyone does.
Guess what? As a self published author you aren't just the author, you're the publisher as well. That means not only am I running a publishing business I'm the creative aspect. I'll let you take that in for a minute. I'm the product and the administration and the CFO and marketing director and COO and president. I wear many hats. To be able to do that cleanly that means spreadsheets. That means doing the accounting.
So keep track of your receipts, as well as all the costs that are involved in what you are doing. In the end many of them can be written off in the end. But trust me, don't forget about accounting. It's a good safety net for you as a company. Don't just pay something cause you heard that someone is good. Do research into the people you are hiring. Also here is a big one...read the invoices! You can't believe how many times there is an error on one. If there is something there that you didn't agree to then don't pay it until you get an invoice that reflects what you agreed upon. Then don't trash it! Save the invoice and write on it how you paid. If you paid with a hard check then make a copy and attach it to a copy of the invoice. This will save you just incase they come back to say that you didn't pay them.
Don't forget about accounting! It can save you in the end as much as you might hate doing it.
Why you ask?
Well let me tell you. This is one job that no matter where I am in life I can apply what I've learned into my personal life. While I've been in accounts payable (I'm the person that pays all the bills and makes sure that they are on time and that we are paying what we are supposed to be paying and when. Specifically with contracted companies as well as overhead costs. That's the cost of doing business). Well now that I'm diving in to the self publishing world I'm realizing more and more just how valuable this knowledge is if I actually apply it my everyday life and now personal business.
So instead of writing first thing this morning I find myself doing something I never thought I would be doing on my day off from the day job. I'm making a spreadsheet. I know it's terrifying, but not only will it help when it comes to doing my taxes, but it is going to help me figure out my budget for the next year as I dive head first into self publishing.
If you don't think publishing is expensive then you need to wake up and smell the coffee cause it can be. Don't get me wrong you can get a good book out on a tight budget but you have to know the right people, do it yourself, or talk prices down. Not only are you looking at production costs, but you also have to take into consideration marketing and travel. Personally I'm planning on going to conferences not only to as a marketing tactic but as a way to help hone my craft. If you're not careful those cost can and will add up too fast that you don't know what hit you and you can't pay your bills.
Well I'm a stubborn bastard and until I find critique partners that I trust then I'm willing to spend the extra money on good editing, cause in the end there are two things in my personal opinion that will help or kill your sales. That is your cover art and the actual writing. Promotional items I can make on my own. Other marketing strategies I can do on a very limited budge. I'm a creative person after all, so I can come up with something for cheap that will stand out.
But you can't fake a good cover or good editing skills. So, I'm sitting down making a spreadsheet to help not only visualize what I've spent in the last year on conventions (all you can write off on your taxes FYI) but what are the estimated costs of each book I've got with editors and the possibility of how I can spread out the cost/save to make sure that I'm not breaking my own bank account.
So if you are going to a business make sure that you take into account the accounting that goes with it. As painful as it might be making those spreadsheets it will help put the whole picture into perspective. Not only will it help you budget for future books but it will help you make a game plan as to when you can realistically publish a book and make sure that you have the funding for all the costs that go with it.
That being said I wish that I had done this long ago. And personally plan on keeping track of all costs as well as what each book makes each month after I publish. This is what every business does. And while I may be a writer, this is something that will help my push my writing business in a direction that I'm not sure everyone does.
Guess what? As a self published author you aren't just the author, you're the publisher as well. That means not only am I running a publishing business I'm the creative aspect. I'll let you take that in for a minute. I'm the product and the administration and the CFO and marketing director and COO and president. I wear many hats. To be able to do that cleanly that means spreadsheets. That means doing the accounting.
So keep track of your receipts, as well as all the costs that are involved in what you are doing. In the end many of them can be written off in the end. But trust me, don't forget about accounting. It's a good safety net for you as a company. Don't just pay something cause you heard that someone is good. Do research into the people you are hiring. Also here is a big one...read the invoices! You can't believe how many times there is an error on one. If there is something there that you didn't agree to then don't pay it until you get an invoice that reflects what you agreed upon. Then don't trash it! Save the invoice and write on it how you paid. If you paid with a hard check then make a copy and attach it to a copy of the invoice. This will save you just incase they come back to say that you didn't pay them.
Don't forget about accounting! It can save you in the end as much as you might hate doing it.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Conferences for 2014
This year I've decided that I will be attending at least two conferences to not only learn more about my craft but to also pimp out my future novels that I will be publishing this year and next. For now here is the current list that I will be fore attending.
Romance Times Booklovers Con in New Orleans in mid May
Romance Writers of America Nationals in San Antonio TX in July
There are a few others that I'd like to attend specifically in Seattle, New York and Las Vegas, but alas if I'm putting out these novels on my own and covering all cost of travel alone, then it will be impossible for me to go to them all.
As times go on and my schedule becomes more concrete I will be sure to let everyone know about where I will be. Cause guess what I will have some swag at these conferences to give away. And I will make sure that i's fun and original. Cause everyone can give a way a pen, but me? It will have to be a surprise. A surprise of epic awesomeness that I don't even know what it is yet.
Anyways I can't wait to see what 2014 brings. I'm off to get back to wiring and all that goes with it.
Romance Times Booklovers Con in New Orleans in mid May
Romance Writers of America Nationals in San Antonio TX in July
There are a few others that I'd like to attend specifically in Seattle, New York and Las Vegas, but alas if I'm putting out these novels on my own and covering all cost of travel alone, then it will be impossible for me to go to them all.
As times go on and my schedule becomes more concrete I will be sure to let everyone know about where I will be. Cause guess what I will have some swag at these conferences to give away. And I will make sure that i's fun and original. Cause everyone can give a way a pen, but me? It will have to be a surprise. A surprise of epic awesomeness that I don't even know what it is yet.
Anyways I can't wait to see what 2014 brings. I'm off to get back to wiring and all that goes with it.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Hello 2014, Farewell 2013
Like everyone else this time of year we all look back at the year that has passed us by far faster than we had expected it to only to look forward for the upcoming year. What will it hold for us? What will we change? What are our new goals that we want to achieve? What do we never want to go through again?
With the changing of the calendar it's time to start anew chapter in our lives. For me I'm making my resolutions and goals obtainable. I'm not going to say that I'm going to lose the 50 pounds I'd like to. No I'm going to start taking steps into making sure that I'm taking better care of myself into a healthier life. That means eating healthier without punishing myself if I want a piece of pie. It also means that it's time I start taking the time to exercise even if I means just going for a walk. I'm also planning on writing as much as I can building a backlog of work while I balance out editing and marketing. I'm also planning on making sure to take time for a personal life, as hard as that is with a day job and starting my writing career as a published author.
2014 is the year that I can say that I'm a published author. As I'm planning on self publishing at least one novel a year. This makes it an obtainable goal on my own. 2014 is where I take a flying leap into making my long term goal of writing a full time writer possible.
Is that long term goal possible to make happen in 2014? Hell to the no. But this year is a hug step closer into making this happen.
While looking forward into the excitement and the hard work that will come in the next year I take a quick glance to last year. I've made so many wonderful author friends that I know I will keep for years to come. All for taking a leap of faith in going to a conference alone. It's a lesson I don't take lightly. Some times that leap of faith pays back in tenfold. I've gained with these women not only friendships, but cheerleaders, teachers, confidants, and inspiration. For that I am grateful for 2013.
I chose to not look upon the negative of 2013 only to learn from what has happened. The big one is to find a balance of work and play. To keep your close friendships going. And for that I let slip in 2013. I'm going to try to not let that happen as much in the next year.
Anyways, I hope you all had a wonderful and safe New Years and have a great 2014 that lay ahead. Even with the ups and it's down, I can't wait to see where it will take me.
Happy New Year!
With the changing of the calendar it's time to start anew chapter in our lives. For me I'm making my resolutions and goals obtainable. I'm not going to say that I'm going to lose the 50 pounds I'd like to. No I'm going to start taking steps into making sure that I'm taking better care of myself into a healthier life. That means eating healthier without punishing myself if I want a piece of pie. It also means that it's time I start taking the time to exercise even if I means just going for a walk. I'm also planning on writing as much as I can building a backlog of work while I balance out editing and marketing. I'm also planning on making sure to take time for a personal life, as hard as that is with a day job and starting my writing career as a published author.
2014 is the year that I can say that I'm a published author. As I'm planning on self publishing at least one novel a year. This makes it an obtainable goal on my own. 2014 is where I take a flying leap into making my long term goal of writing a full time writer possible.
Is that long term goal possible to make happen in 2014? Hell to the no. But this year is a hug step closer into making this happen.
While looking forward into the excitement and the hard work that will come in the next year I take a quick glance to last year. I've made so many wonderful author friends that I know I will keep for years to come. All for taking a leap of faith in going to a conference alone. It's a lesson I don't take lightly. Some times that leap of faith pays back in tenfold. I've gained with these women not only friendships, but cheerleaders, teachers, confidants, and inspiration. For that I am grateful for 2013.
I chose to not look upon the negative of 2013 only to learn from what has happened. The big one is to find a balance of work and play. To keep your close friendships going. And for that I let slip in 2013. I'm going to try to not let that happen as much in the next year.
Anyways, I hope you all had a wonderful and safe New Years and have a great 2014 that lay ahead. Even with the ups and it's down, I can't wait to see where it will take me.
Happy New Year!
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