Burn out

This weekend happened to be my old rugby teams third annual Alumni game (or is it for the boys) so catching up with old college friends took priority over working on writing. Yes, I say my old team even though it's a mens club. Quick explanation...when the team was originally founded while I was in school there wasn't enough men or women to have separate teams so we were co-ed. That's right. I learned to play rugby side by side with the men. Us girls who stuck it out were pretty bad ass. We loved playing the sport and being held to the standards that the guys had only made up better players when we split off to play with the girls. Still we practiced with the boys then. This doesn't happen any more since both teams have enough players. So I still call them my team even though it's all men. lol. For the first time in a couple of months I set my writing a side while I'm still at home and decided that I need to not worry about the RWA conference coming up and getting my writing ready for my first conference and agent pitches. I admit only a few times did I get twitchy about putting pen to paper, but I'm starting to realize that you really do need to find a way to balance out the work with the play. Working a full time day job takes a lot of energy out of you, but when you put on top pursuing a writing career it takes even more time. Especially when you are serious about it. I know that it will take years to get to my goals and I'm trying to start good habits that I'd want to have when I'm able to write full time. That means writing every day. Or at least setting a schedule and sticking to it. Unfortunately with my stubborn determination I've become a bit of a hermit. Ok, maybe a bit more than a hermit. While my roommates and friends go out on weekdays I'm home working and trying to get a good nights sleep so that I can function properly while at the day job the next. Lack of sleep and working with numbers don't really mix. Add in being grumpy on top of that and it doesn't make for a good day. As for weekends well I'm in the more low key nights, where my roommates have different ideas of what to do. That being the case I usually decide to stay home and you guessed it work or read a good book. Which I guess you can say is a form of work (but is it still work if you enjoy what you are doing?). Upside it means that I'm also saving money so that I an afford a car that isn't as old as I am. So, with this weekend, being full of friends in town as well as a book sale at the Center for Sex & Culture with my sister, there would be little time to work on edits or a new manuscript. Now I'm sitting here feeling poorer from going out, but refreshed. It was amazing seeing my old group of friends that we would hang out practically every weekend at my old apartment. Though I now remember why I don't drink so much and that rugby players can definitely hold the mass quantities of booze that they drink. Realization had struck that if I keep up this pace of hermithood then I'm going to end up burning out. And my writing career is only just starting. I don't want to end up hating something that I love doing. No matter how long and hard it might be at times, I love every second of it. Writing is a labor of love that us writers get to share with the rest of the world. With that realization that some times it's good to walk away and take a break, I've decided to start doing that more often. Plus watching rugby had me missing it like crazy and once again confirm that I need to get my butt back in shape. That being said I'm making a belated new years resolution. Find a balance of work and play. So on weekends I'm allowed to go out and have fun. Just means that I'm going to start waking up early to work out and write. What better way to start the day by getting the blood pumping while clearing your head to create worlds for people to enjoy. Not sure yet how I'm going to balance this during the work week yet, but weekends are for fun, working out and in the down time writing. It's possible to do it all! I know it is. Just have to do some trial and error to find out what will work best for me. And with that I'm off to make some more edits. Feels like that's all I'm doing, but in the end the edits is where the book takes shape. The rough draft is just the foundation. I'm going to take all the time I need to get my work, not perfect, but feeling right. As of right now Mackenzie Falls is starting more and more to feel right. That means it's almost done. Till next time! And get to writing! I know I am.

Step 2: Following Through

So, you've done step one in doing what you want. You've set your goals. Let's just say that it's to be published, seeing as that is one of my goals in life.

Now what?

Well you actually have to follow through with all the work that it takes to get to that final goal. You can rarely go from A to Z without going through the rest of the alphabet first.

This is what I do. Break down all the steps it will take get to that final goal. In a way each step is a different goal with in itself. What? You're telling me is that I went from one bullet point on my to do list to like a hundred? Ugh your killing me here.

That is exactly what I'm telling you. Yet I'm also giving you a path you can take where you actually get to cross things off that dreaded to do list. Just so that you don't feel a lone in the length of your long list here is mine that I've come up with working on Mackenzie Falls.

1. Come up with a solid idea - Check Done
2. Come up with a background for my characters, so that I know why they are making the choices they do or will make, and what made the the way that they are - Check Done
3. Come up with a story arch that has the main character grow - Check Done
4. Start writing the actual story till I feel that I've got a good ending, while keeping up a list of new characters that I didn't know would pop up - Check Done
5. Editing. Editing. Editing. Oh wait more editing. (This is where the story really comes to life. It's here that you can clean up the story, the characters and the setting. The things you thought worked once really don't. This is the time that the story really comes to life.) - Not done. Still working on. No matter how frustrating it gets at times. Yes I do want so scream at the computer screen "Why can't you be finished yet!" Well, it's not done yet cause you're not done with it yet. Editing takes time and not over thinking things too much. Yes there is such thing as over editing.
6. Writing the summery to send out with queries to Lit Agents and Editors. What's this? I just finished writing 300 pages now you want me rewrite it in one page? Yup I do. - I've not quite gotten to this yet.
7. Researching Literary Agents that rep the genre you write. See what they require for submissions and make a query for each rep, making sure to include everything they request so that you don't get thrown out because of being lazy. - I'm currently in the process of doing this. I have to say it's fun to research the authors you enjoy to see what agents they work with, and what is out there.
8. Sending out your queries to the agents that fit with what you are looking for. - Not there yet, but getting closer every day.
9. The waiting game. This is where you are waiting to hear if you get represented. This isn't the time to twiddle your thumbs in boredom. This is where you can keep sending your work to more agents, while working on your next idea. Always, always, always, keep working on your next idea as soon as you finish the first. That way you have more stuff to get your name out there to sell once you do get representation. Waiting and getting rejections isn't the most fun, but it's a learning experience. Don't get down on yourself if people say no. Just find out ways to become a better writer.
10. You find an agent that want to rep you. - One day I will get this happy phone call. It's just a matter of putting in the hard work.
11. You get the phone call from your agent. They sold your book! You are getting published! Your big goal is now accomplished. Now it's time to do it all again. Though now that you have an agent you get to skip a few steps. Whoooo! - This is my big goal and it will happen. Time people. It just takes time and determination. I'm willing to put the work in to make this happen. If it takes then years. Then it takes ten years. If it happens over night? Well...I just might be a little skeptical of that to be honest.


See I have a long list to do too. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still learning about how to make myself a better writer, and about the publishing world. This just happens to be the steps that I'm taking. If you're in the publishing world, and know Im wrong, well please tell me. I want to learn from those that have the experience that I don't have.

Take the time to break down all the steps you need to take to reach your goals to make it easier to see that you are following through. It might be a long ways away till you get there, but if you follow through with each step one at a time, then you will get to your big goal. At times where you get discouraged take a moment to look at all the things you were able to cross of your list.

See all those crossed out? Your that much closer than you were before. Take a deep breath and keep taking those baby steps.

It's easier concurring the smaller goals than just a huge one. But all of the sudden you realize...I did it. I followed through on one of the biggest goals you've made.

Now go out and follow through on all your goals whatever they might be. Good luck and keep up the hard work. You're not alone in your journey to reaching your far off goals. I'm right there with you.

No Regrets

One of the many resolutions this year is to really give it a go in the publishing world. Meaning that I wouldn't just write for me. But to really do research on what it takes to get published as well as finding a way to get a job working with in a literary agency. So no regrets this year. I'm going to put myself and my writing out there. If not now then when?

Yes there is always the fear that my writing isn't good enough and that no one is going to like it. Then again who I don't think I will fully get over that insecurity. That being said I took my first real leap into the world of no regrets. I have registered for the Romance Writers of America conference this year. This is going to be the first time that I get to interact with people who are established in the publishing world. It's also a place where I will have a chance to pitch with an agent.

Yup im super excited and scared shitless. But a good scared. Now I have a deadline to get my finished manuscript clean, pitches figured out, summaries made and time to calm myself for this big step.

No regrets people! Take the risk when it comes to moving forward in the career that you want. If you don't take any chances there is no way to know if or when you can make your dreams come true. It might take time to make your goals become a reality, but don't let your insecurities hold you back. Take a deep breath and jump in.

Three months till RWA and I'm super stoked. Follow my lead and have no regrets. Go for after your dream. I know I am! Good luck all and rooting for you the whole time.

I don't understand...

"We don't understand what you are doing, but we support you."

This is what my roommates said to me last night as we sat talking about life, love and everything in-between. Just a normal girls night at home. I knew that my roommates don't quite understand what I am doing in my pursuing a career as a writer, and I still don't quite understand what they don't get. Why I don't go out during the week? Why I spend all my free time at my computer or with a notebook constantly on me? Why I am going to a conference that will dry up my savings. Why I spend so much time reading?

As much as I tried to get out what exactly they don't understand, I got nothing back. Then again, when you are chatting with a few cocktails in you things don't always make sense. But hey I tried. Then again they are on a different place in life. I've found my passion and they are still in search of theirs in life.

So here is my attempt to explain the why's for all those who aren't writers and just don't understand.

For one I write because it's a release. Yes, I do have a bit of an overactive imagination and these characters become a bit of like an imaginary friends. They bug and bug you till you put them down on paper. Being able to put down your dreams and stories down on paper is therapeutic, in more ways than one. We all have issues and for me I'm able to work through some with the use of my characters.

Once you get a little peak of these characters, like real people, you become interested in wanting to know more. Wanting to know their back story. Wanting to know what is going to happen next. Why do they make the choices the way that they do. And so as a writer, I go on these journeys with them to share them with others.

Can't forget that they like to bug the living daylights out of me till I pay attention enough to them to put it down on paper. Sounds like a crazy person right? Well I guess all of us creative types are a bit off. But then who isn't.

Not to mention I love books. I love reading the genre's I write. I've always fallen deep into novels and movies since I was a child. Its not surprising that I'd still be in love with them as an adult. Coming up with stories now, isn't that surprising. I've even went to school to get my degree in film, because I wanted to be involved in creating worlds that others can fall into the I did growing up. Getting into writing just happened to be a detour of what I had originally thought I would go.

Producing, and literary agents, I place in a same category in my mind. They find these amazing stories and authors and champion them till they are alive for the rest of the world to enjoy as much as I do. And I want to be apart of that. I want to be apart of the process of bring something that started out as a little spark of an idea to become a novel or a movie. The fact that I started to write was just a bit of good luck on my part.

Taking a screenwriting class in hopes to understand writing more and become a better producer, I realized as an adult I love writing. Screenwriting I'm not so great at, but creative writing...that is where I can really lose myself. That is where I can work through things and create something that I think isn't out there yet. Something that I want to read.

Finding a new adventure is thrilling through the whole process. No matter how long I might work on it.

This is why I do it. It is something that I've discovered I love doing. Some people love working in an office. Writing computer code or working with animals. I love creating new worlds that people can enjoy as much as I had writing them. Weaving around the story and these characters lives and thoughts to create something.

Being able to explain why is so much harder than one might think. But to be able to do something I love, wither I get paid or not doesn't matter. I do it cause I enjoy it. Some people play video games to escape reality. I create a world on paper.

One day I hope to be able to make it a career, but for now I will spend my free time writing what I love.

For those non writers out there I do hope that this helps. For those newbie writers out there. I'm with you on people not quite understand, but your not alone. Keep writing and don't give up.

Ahhhh My Brain!

Have you ever had times when you feel like you can't function cause your mind is running a thousand miles a second with fifty thousand different things? Or that you have this constant nagging of characters, a piece of dialogue, or the hint of something that is just laying a waiting for when you don't have the time to work on it.

Well ladies and gents I get this alot. It's one of the many downfalls of having ADD and an active creative mind. It get so many things going on in the real life on top of chasing my dream of being a literary agent and writer, that my brain feels like it will spontaneously explode at any second and I will lose every idea that I've been waiting and wanting to work on for who knows how long.

How do I deal with all these crazy brain chaos? Well if you hadn't figured it out by now... I write. It doesn't have to be good writing at first. It just has to make sense to me when I go back to edit. It's in the editing where the real work comes in. What I have to make my writing be not only readable but make it so that people can actually understand everything that I'm trying to say? Say what? Yup I know its a crazy thought right?

Well, it's not. The whole point of writing a novel is that so people will read it. I guess you could write a novel for yourself only, but I'm not one of those people. As nerve racking as it is to have people read my work, I want to get it out there. I want to be able to transport people in to another world that I've created for them.

Back to the brain so full that it's going to explode. So yes, I write to drain all this excess activity so that I can function properly, but that doesn't mean that I have time to sit down at my computer to properly write. Nope Iam a huge fan of notebooks. I pretty much have one notebook per idea, and a general one that I keep with me at all times. That way if I get a pestering idea that wont leave me alone, I can flush it out on to the page when I'm on the bus, on lunch or whenever I have two seconds to spair. It is later at home that I can transfer and expand that nagging piece of information in to the proper notebook so that I can go back when I need to look at the references, when editing or working on the actual novel.

Sounds chaotic and more work than what is needed right? Well, yes I guess it can be. But in the end I'm working full time in an office an hour away from home and can't always get the time at a computer. Plus I always know which notebook goes for what and I rather have a notebook of notes that I can have fun with later putting the pieces together. Kind of like a puzzle. My brain is a little weird, and that is what makes me so lovable. Or so I like to tell myself. But in the end if I'm able to flush my brain of its over activity, I am then able to work on the things that are on the top of the priority list.

One day though I'm hoping that my writing will be able to take top of this list, but alas being a newbie in the industry, I still have to work full time in an office to be able to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. But I'm not going to let that stand in my way with my overactive imagination.

Nope me and my 'Oh my god, my brain is going to explode if I don't get this down on paper soon,' will be working our collective butts off till we make it. Just will take longer than we'd might like, but I'm patient and determined.

So if you ever have a brain that feels like its going to explode....write what's going on down. Don't think about what you want to write or where you want it to go. Just flush it all out on to the paper. Once your relaxed and back to normal can you go back and make the gibberish into legible genus that everyone will be dying to read. Though I do have to admit, that editing grammer is my major weakness. Being Dislexic doesn't help. No matter how hard I look at something, I just can't see it. That's what good friends and professional editors are for right? Well yes, but still you have to make it so that people can stand reading it even if there are a few annoying errors.

Keep up the creativity and get it down on paper. If you don't write it, it will never get done. And I want to read your work. Good luck all and happy adventures!